The beautiful game of give and take

I have always been a very social person. I thrive being around people, talking, exchanging ideas, having fun. It defines who I am, and have always felt happy and complete being amongst people. My friends have always been essential to me, to my happiness and overall well-being. And yet, lately, I’ve noticed that I’m starting to get so much out of spending time by myself. I have become quite selective in the people that I spend time with. I’ve grown to be sensitive to people’s energy and have become very mindful of the effect this has in me. People’s attitude, their drive and ambition (or lack thereof), their ability for insightful conversation, it has all become much more important to me in my fourth decade. And for the first time in my life, I’d rather be alone than in unexceptional company. And I don’t mean to say that some of the people in my life are not exceptional, they are. They are nice and kind and really decent human beings – but I’ve come to realize and accept that sometimes what I need I don’t necessarily get from being around them.

So I have become selective, a bit anti-social for my standards or what has been typical for me.  It used to be that I’d want to be surrounded by people, I’d get so much out of it. But as my needs have changed, so has how I spend my time and with whom. Enjoying spending time by myself has been a wonderful surprise, one I didn't expect. I sit at a café (like the one I’m in right now), write, watch people, analyze, engage in casual, “good to talk to you, have a nice life” quick chats, have lunch, a glass of wine – all by myself. And oh how I’m loving this.

So what does this mean? Does it mean I'm not as social as I used to be? That I don't get fulfillment from being around people like I always have? I guess this means I’m evolving. I am maturing and my needs – emotional, intellectual, even physical, are maturing too. I find myself unfulfilled with meaningless conversation, and it can be hard, almost painful when I don’t get meaningful ones. Of course there are a handful of people in my life that fulfill these needs, and thank God for them. Yet, in the absence of this, being with just me, with my thoughts, reading, writing, listening to music, just being, is better.

 

But here’s another fabulous surprise that has happened to me as I spend time by myself – conversations with strangers. Random conversations with people I don’t know that start from sitting by ourselves in the same café. A lady reading a book who wants a break from reading and decides to share that her daughter is starting college next year and how she’ll miss her at home, a quick conversation with the guy who runs the café - an older guy who decided to come help his son run his business, because it got him out of the house and he was starting to get depressed now that he’s alone. I don’t know about you, but I go through most of my days wondering what my contribution to the world is, how I can make the world better. It just hit me after one of these spontaneous, nice conversations that perhaps, listening to these people tell me about their lives is all I need to do to make the world better. Because sometimes what people need is someone who is willing to listen.

So as I have become a bit more selective in how and who I spend my time, I also know that I need to be in peoples’ lives. I realize that my energy might not be a match for everybody; it might not have the right balance for some. But for a lot of people in my life (friends and strangers), it can be fuel. They need to be around me, my energy, just as much as I need to be around other people’s great energy. They need my optimism and my drive and ambition and drive as fuel, and I am both willing and honored to provide this to anyone who needs it and welcomes it. And in an interesting way, I need to be around theirs too, if only for a different kind of fuel. The trick is striking the right balance, something that I'm getting better at each day.

And as I fuel myself by spending time with people that elevate me, enjoy quiet time by myself and have small conversations with strangers, I continue to grow – I learn to listen, really listen, learn to not judge, learn to be compassionate and understanding and kind and also learn that it is not about giving advice, or suggestions for the future, or questioning decisions made, but about giving love and kindness. The only meaningful thing we can offer is love. Love and kindness – that really is the most powerful fuel. I pass that fuel on to those who might be open to receiving it, and it comes right back to me. It all comes full circle, the game of give and take.

 

Well what do you know, I’m still the very social person I have always been. I still crave being around people and engaging with others. And that includes me. Being social has a new meaning for me, with a more thought-out purpose perhaps. And newness that is fueling is always, always welcomed.

 

On shame

I have become a bit obsessed with Dr. Brené Brown (Queen Brené, as I now call her). I’ve been kind of stalking her on YouTube, watching her talks and learning more about the research she has done around shame and vulnerability. We all know what shame is, we all have experience it at one point on another I’m sure, as it is a very natural emotion. But it wasn’t until I heard Brené describe the reasons we feel shame and the source of this emotion that I understood more accurately why we experience it. Not until I heard her draw parallels with perfectionism did it feel sort of personal too. Brené describes this emotion as “the fear of disconnection”, and given that we humans are wired for connection, this is a more damaging emotion to feel consistently than I realized. Yes, we have moments of shame, totally natural, and it would be unreal not to ever feel it. But it’s important to identify it when it surfaces, and address it straight on. It’s been so good for me to understand this better, not just for me and when I feel it, but for when others in my life do.
Yesterday was my daughter’s 8^th grade graduation, and like a normal teenager, after the ceremony was over, she gently instructed me to go mingle with the parents while she spent time with her friends (code for “yeah, I don’t want you to mingle with me and my friends”). As I got these instructions, I noticed a good friend of mine walking towards me with her husband. So I went to her, to mingle with the big people (or shall I say, bigger people, as my daughter is taller than me J). My friend has been going through some tough times at home. I don’t really have specifics, but a few months ago I ran into her at Target and she mentioned that she was putting her house on the market because they needed to downsize. They had to sell their house because they couldn’t make payments basically – she didn’t’ say it in so many words, but said it. So they are selling their house and are now looking for a place to live that they can afford without impacting their kids’ schedules and their lifestyle too much.
So as I ran into her, I asked her about the selling of the house and how the process was going, and she told me it had sold already (which didn’t surprise me, it is a gorgeous house). Her tone and face displayed disappointment, and she tried to avoid making eye contact with me. And then, she started increasing her pace sort of walking in front of me, signaling that she didn’t want to keep talking. This is a good friend of mine, we have gone out together, just the two of us, and hung out. Our families even traveled together once. And I could totally see and feel that she didn’t want to engage with me. And I thought of Brené’s words, and thought, gosh, it’s shame. I felt so sorry for her. Not because she had to sell her house, but because she felt shame over it. Who cares about the need to downsize? It happens. Life happens. It doesn’t define you and it doesn’t mean you’re less of a human being. What defines you is how you handle these experiences, and I know a lot of people who would have chosen to stay in a house they can’t afford and fail to make payments over downsizing – she made the right decision, and the brave one. This woman is beautiful, smart, talented, kind. To me, it’s more of a comment on life than the person that she is. Life is hard, and it happens to all of us. Life is brutal really, but it doesn’t mean anything else other than, “this is an experience you were meant to go through, so here you go - live it”. Yet, she felt shame. Brené s words kept replaying in my head – “shame is the fear of disconnection”. She didn’t want to connect with me. She felt unworthy of connection.
There are things I could have said to her, to make her feel better, to reassure her, and let her know what I thought, but then I would’ve been lecturing her, and playing psychotherapist and to some people (myself included, depending on who it comes from), that would have been annoying. She needs to go through this experience, including the process of feeling shame over it, and overcome it. It’s ok that life is happening. It happens to all of us (and aren’t we lucky it does). Maybe in time I’ll talk to her about this. It’s all about timing with these experiences. For now, she needs to experience this, that’s the sense I got.
At one point I thought maybe the problem was me, that she didn’t want to share this with me. Maybe she felt shame with just me, and is fine opening up to others. Maybe she thinks I disapprove, because I think it’s wrong to not be able to afford this and that, and what does that say of me? Did I have my own moment of shame right there? Of not being worthy enough for her to trust me and know that I wouldn’t judge, and would understand?  See? We all feel it; none of us escapes shame…
Just then my daughter came to find me, she was done mingling, which meant I could be done too. Phew, exhausting when it isn’t natural.

I can’t wait for my friend to go through this experience, and come back, ready to connect with me again. I can’t wait for her to look at shame in the face, deal with the emotions, and be proud of her decision, of enduring the experience, and of herself. And once she does, I will share Brene's talks with her. They are the kind that can change the world. They should be watched by the world.

Thank you Queen Brené for teaching me about this emotion, because where I would have normally been put off by how my friend dismissed me, I identified her emotions and felt compassion for her. See? Changing the world, and making it better, one person at a time.

 

 

 

The Power of a Smile

I woke up feeling shitty. I didn’t sleep well, didn’t sleep soundly, woke up at 3am, stayed up for two hours - and had all my worries meet me at that time of the day. Alarm went off at 6am and unlike most mornings, I really wanted to sleep longer. But no, day has to start, kids have to go to school, breakfast needs to happen – life goes on (thank goodness).

Walk out to the hallway to see that my dog peed in the carpet. Of course he did. He never ever does, and this morning, after a crappy night and waking up tired and cranky, I walk out to dog pee.

As I do every morning, I went down my list of make happy elements: lunch with Kristy – thank God. Kristy always makes me feel good, and I didn’t feel good. Lunch with her is exactly what I need. Daughter has attitude, which doesn’t help my mood. Daughter is a teenager, so I shouldn’t be surprised. She’s a good girl, just a teenager, bless her heart. I had a shorter fuse today, that’s all.

Daughter leaves for school, so I go to get my son, who is awake and reading in bed. I cuddle with him and for the first time in the day, I feel good and blessed. Thank you God for not letting me lose sight of how lucky I am to be cuddling with him. In a world filled with chaos and violence and natural disasters and grief and loss, I don’t lose sight of it, and in fact, appreciate it in a very acute way.

Son and I are almost out the door when I get a text from Kristy, who is sick and cancelling lunch. Shit! That was my make happy element of the day, and I really needed that. Shit. Ok, need to find another make happy element.

I drop off my son at school, and rather than driving to the city, where I was going to meet Kristy for lunch, I decide to go to a nearby coffee shop that has really good energy - that’s exactly what I need, good energy. So I walk into the café, set my stuff down and look up to the counter – a new girl is working today. New for me at least. She’s cute, looks a little like Katy Perry, who I love, but seems kind of serious and unfriendly, and I’m not in the mood for serious and unfriendly.  I approached her in my normal, nice way because the fact that I didn’t sleep well, or that my dog peed in the carpet, or that my teenage daughter had attitude or that Kristy cancelled lunch is not really her fault. So I order my coffee to go, even though I’m staying in, and our eyes meet. And she gives me the best smile. The best smile, really. Exactly what I needed. And I thought three things: 1) Don’t expect the worst in people, rather, bring out the best in them and 2) you attract what you think, so be very careful with your thoughts, and 3) everything will be alright, life is good. J

I have chosen to be happy because it's good for my health

I recently started contracting for a digital marketing agency as a senior account and project manager. I have been doing account and project management most of my life, on and off, and love it. I love offering client service and I’ll admit that I’m pretty good at it– I know what mediocre service looks like and I try to offer the exact opposite. The agencies I’ve worked for were incredibly pleased with my service, which usually resulted in me managing their biggest accounts. This was fourteen years ago, when the advertising agency world looked and worked differently. Before social media, and e-mail marketing and website management and wiki pages.  

Fast forward fourteen years and it’s a brand new game. Project management is pretty much the same, but the technology focus that some of these projects require go beyond what 20 years of experience working on storyboards and radio copy, and 30 second TV spots offer. Yes, those are still happening, just not in a digital marketing agency – at least not the one I was contracting for. Additionally, something that happened as you fast forward is that I am a different person and professional, looking for a different and more meaningful life and what I do with it. I am much more mindful in how I invest my time (and on what).

I’m a hustler, and what I might lack in knowledge and experience I make up in drive and determination, and so as I committed to this role, I hustled. If I didn’t know how to push content live to a site, I’d ask, and create step by step and how-to-guides, and watch the developers do it, and learn. And because I don’t like quitting, I pushed through and did this for weeks. Seventeen weeks to be exact. And it nearly made me go through a nervous breakdown. You see, it’s interesting going through this experience in your 40’s, when you HAVE a ton of knowledge and experience, and you know exactly what you want and don’t want to do with your life. I’m sorry if I’m hurting anyone’s feeling, but I am not passionate about wiki pages or website management. I don’t speak that language and frankly, I’m not interested in learning it at this point. I probably knew two weeks into it that this wasn’t the right role for me. In many ways it seemed like it was, in a lot more ways it didn’t. But my determination kept leading, while my inner voice kept screaming “no, no, this isn’t it!”. I shushed it, and kept going, ignoring the signs around me, sent by a Higher Force. And when the inner voice needed help, it turned to my heart. Smart, because I always listen to my heart. For emotional reasons, but also for my health.

When you reach your fourth decade, and you have little people that call you mom, you take a lot more care of yourself and your health than when you’re in your twenties. At least I do. And so, I realized that even though the stress I was under was a really good diet, it wasn’t sustainable. I also realized that a huge part of my stress was the fact that I was doing something that I knew in my core, was not right for me. Call me sentimental, but I’ve reached a point in my life where I want to work in things that are meaningful, significant, that are touching people’s lives and making the planet a better place. You can do that working for an ad agency, and you can do that in your spare time while working at an ad agency – I just didn’t have spare time, didn’t even feel grounded enough to juggle both. I was really unbalanced and confused and exhausted. It took all of my energy (and then some) to make this work, simply because my entire body and soul knew it shouldn’t.

I rehearsed the conversation I’d have with my manager in my head several times before I actually had the guts to have it. Often times, it is so much easier to just stay, keep pushing through, avoid change and keep going. But often times, the right thing is not the easy thing. So I finally did the uneasy thing, and it was easier than I anticipated. Things that are meant to be, just need to be, and in the end, you just need to strive for what makes you happy. I have a daily messages calendar on my desk, and the message that day read: “Choose the harder right over the easier wrong”. Boom! Another sign. And so I did.

And as I sit here, three weeks after deciding to take control of my life back and getting back to my duties as mom, CEO of my household, and writer, I ponder on what the lesson for me was. Because there is always a lesson, and that is the silver lining of this and all experiences. I’m someone who does a pretty good job of listening to my instinct, following my passions, doing what makes me happy, and maybe the lesson here is that I need to do that all the time, nonstop, no exceptions. And as I grow and mature, more so, because we become less tolerant of not living our truth, not being happy. When we are younger, our truth is probably still being defined. Once it is, it just is and we live it. Why did it take me so long this time? I am not sure, but it was a wakeup call. Perhaps my lesson is for others too, because I have people around me in similar situations, and I feel responsible to share my experience with others. If there is a miniscule chance that this can help others I love, then it was worth it. This experience would have never killed me, but it could have damage my health – physical and emotional. I look back at what I was doing, how I was feeling, and how I was operating, and I feel a reaction in my stomach. And that is the feeling I felt most of my days. Ugh. Bravo Maru for stopping it! I don’t think of this as a failure, in fact I continue to work with this agency in a different capacity. I see this as a triumph because I took control. Yes, it took me seventeen weeks – it takes some people a lifetime. And that’s probably another silver lining here, the strength and resilience I realized I have was such a nice surprise.

Six days later, the daily message from my calendar read: “Appropriate words spoken at the appropriate time can be a force of nature”. Amen, sister. I’ve said my peace.  

 

 

 

On being vulnerable

I cry a lot. My daughter is quick to point it out to me, half of the time in disbelief, and to a certain point, annoyed whenever she sees me shed a tear. She’ll turn to me, stare and say “are you crying???” Lol, it’s funny when I think about it, but can be off putting when you are in the midst of an emotional moment. But yes, I’m a crier; I can’t help it. Every day almost, for sure every week. I’ve always been an emotional being. I don’t know if it has to do with my culture, my personality, my upbringing, or simply, my DNA, but I’ve always felt emotions intensely. It is what it is and after a lifetime of being this way, I am used to it. But I’ve become more emotional with age. I have developed a certain level of compassion and sensitivity that has come with maturity and I think also with motherhood.

What’s interesting to me as I observe and analyze this is that I might be at one of the happiest times of my life, yet, I cry more than ever, which seems like an interesting paradox. Little things just get me emotional – a story on TV, a movie, a song, listening to someone speak about things that matter to me, watching Ellen DeGeneres make someone’s life better. You see, crying is not always about being sad or unhappy. In fact, I think a huge reason why I’m at my happiest right now has to do with the level of empathy and compassion I’ve developed towards others, more so recently. The ability to feel this, to get out of my skin, think and feel outside of myself, and focus on the well-being and happiness of others has been a huge blessing that I’ve developed as I have matured, and maturity is a wonderful thing if we focus on the beautiful aspect of it, and the wisdom that comes with it. I can’t say that I’ve had a tough life, at least not when seeing my life through my lens. I’ve had my challenges, some would say I had a tough childhood, but the way I see it, life has given me the opportunity to see clearly the blessings that have come to balance those challenges. And it is maturity what has given me the ability to develop the lens and filter needed to see this.

When I was around twelve years old, I accompanied my mom to the theater to see Kramer vs. Kramer, and I remember my mom leaving the theater in tears. My sisters and I asked her why she was crying, and she explained. Of course we didn't get it, and I remember thinking how unnecessary it was to cry over a movie where a mom relinquishes her rights to have custody of her child. It was her own decision; the child was going to get to stay with his father, wasn't that what he wanted? What they all wanted? Oh boy, little did I know then....

And so as I see my daughter looking at me weird, and passing judgment over my reaction to certain situations, I realize that I’m probably responsible for this, because she is the strong, opinionated girl that I was (genetics is a fascinating thing!)

I thank God that she has these traits, because I know it will help her stand up for herself and reach goals she sets in life. And I also thank God for the wisdom that allows me to understand this, the wisdom that gives me the ability to mold her so that her judgment doesn’t become hurtful to others, accept it and accept her with love and admiration. She will someday look back and understand me as well, just as i now look back at my mom and understand her in ways i didn't as a young girl. And she'll be thankful, just as I am today.


For now, I will continue to be who I am, and shed a tear here and there. And rather than feel silly about it, I will feel pride, because compassion and empathy are beautiful selfless emotions anyone would be lucky to feel. And to be ok being vulnerable enough to embrace these emotions is one of the best gifts I’ve had in this lifetime.

Make happy

There’s a lot of sadness in the world. I feel it, I hear it, I sense it, and maybe even more than the people feeling the sadness, I realize it.
I feel this sadness around me, I see it, a lot of it – the one that people are suppressing and the one that they’re learning to deal with assuming that’s the way life is and they just need to accept. I see it in people that are close to me, in strangers crossing the street, parents picking up their kids at school. Their faces, their energy, it looks and feels sad.
The best part of aging and growing older for me so far has been the wisdom that has accompanied it. I feel wiser, more mature, more accepting of life and the challenges that are part of it. I have learned to accept a lot of things in the last year or two. I’ve learned to let go and be more accepting in general. But if there’s one thing I will never accept, it’s going through life with a sense of sadness that permeates everything in my life. And I almost want to call it a state of unhappiness more than a state of sadness, because although they are by definition the same, unhappiness sort of feels different, more accepting – or perhaps more temporary. But the temporary state happens so often that it becomes more permanent than not. It becomes the norm, more than the exception. It becomes life, and that is sad.
One thing I’ve noticed people do that I’ve never had the ability to do is turn off or suppress feelings they don’t want to deal with. I really don’t know how people do this. How they just accept these feelings and suppress them if they don’t want to deal with them. I’m being literal when I say this, I really don’t know. I’ve never been able to do this. I am intense and passionate and with regards to my emotions, it’s no different. If there is an emotion I don’t enjoy, I have to suck it up. Don’t know how to turn it off, shut it off, ignore it. Lord knows often times I wish I could! As someone who’s never been able to do this, I think having this ability of suppressing unwelcomed emotions is a blessing. On the flip side, those emotions stay bottled up inside you and eventually come out, right? They're not dealing with them; they’re stored somewhere for a while. A state of numbness kicks in. Denial, some would call it. I have to say, when presented with the alternative, I’d rather feel it intensely, as painful as it might be, than not feel at all. I want to think I’m strong enough to handle it, and really – we all can be, and we need to prioritize working through the tough emotions so we get better at it and good emotions can surface. How to do what? Well, I don’t have a magic ball with the answer that would work for everyone, but I do have a habit that has worked for me. I never thought of it much until recently, when I mentioned to my best friend how I start my days, every single day.
First thought that pops into my head, every single morning, is “what will make today a great day?” I go down my inventory of things I’ll have that day – meetings, kids’ school pick up, lunch with a friend, coffee, workout… Depending on the things I’m dreading or not looking forward to, I’ll add things that will balance those out. If I have a meeting I’m not looking forward to having, or not in the mood to spend the entire afternoon being a referee between my kids, I will make sure I have something that will brighten my day. I absolutely always need to have something I’m looking forward to each day. Sometimes it’s coffee or lunch with a friend, other times it’s a workout, or writing at a cafe. Some days I plan on a movie, or drinks with my husband or a girlfriend. Or maybe on any given day I just feel like being home with my kids after school. Each day is different, which is nice, but identical in one way – there needs to be something I look forward to and that makes my day special and fun. This is an absolute must for me and something I don’t compromise at all. It’s not an effort to think about this every morning, I just do. And it’s an effortless process because all it takes is the right planning and coordinating, which happens pretty spontaneously, so no need to have particular planning skills. You see, the key thing here is that you need to make happy happen. Happiness is one of those things that you need to make happen in your life, it doesn’t just come to you. You make happy by taking a job you like, marrying someone who you love and loves you back, surrounding yourself with people that lifts you, spending time doing things you enjoy, and knowing when to change some of these things or add new ones. Just like you make a grocery list, and make your bed in the morning, and make your kids’ lunchboxes, and dinner at night, you need to make happy too. It’s interesting to me that even some of the best planners in life, who make a living planning and coordinating, won’t plan for this. People with a bunch of degrees, who excel in many areas of their lives, quite simply don’t prioritize this. Not prioritizing making happy is a projection of how one self-prioritizes – or not. Please, let’s not undermine how important being happy is. Happiness is becoming so underrated. It really is time to turn that around. For you, for me, for the planet. Happiness is contagious – unhappiness is too. Which one would you rather spread? :)

Parenting who you least expect

I have had many roles in my life. From the very beginning, my first role was that of a daughter. Then sister, friend, employee, professional, girlfriend, wife, aunt - until my favorite and most important role yet: mother. I consider myself to be a pretty good mother. Mother of my kids, that is.
My dad is 80 years old because he was born in 1931. If you didn’t know that small fact, you’d think he was in his early 70’s based on how he looks. Based on how he acts and lives his life, you’d think he was in his 60’s. At least that’s what you would have thought if you met him any time before last month. For the past month, he’s been having health issues caused by a sprained rotator’s cuff, and because he is in Tampa, Fl and all of his children are elsewhere, we’ve been taking turns traveling to Florida to take care of him.
So it was my turn last week, to fly out to Tampa to take care of him and help my mother as she does. My father is one of the most jovial and driven people I have ever met. He has always been very agile, social, always moving and completely independent. When I arrived in their condo last week, I met an entirely different man. He is completely dependable for everything, with little mobility and deeply depressed. And if you have ever had to take care of someone who is uncomfortable and in pain, you would have expected to deal with crankiness and lack of tolerance, and wouldn’t have been caught off guard like I was. He was cranky because he needed help, and had little tolerance with any instructions or suggestions I had – all for his well-being and recovery, I might add.
If there is one thing I have learned to develop as a mother, it is patience. Don’t ask me how I’ve done it and where this bottomless patience comes from, as it’s been a really unexpected characteristic (and blessing) that came to me with motherhood. I remember my daughter’s first ever two year old tantrum. It was time to go home from the playground and she was not happy. As we walked home she was crying and complaining and when she realized this wasn’t buying her more time at the playground, she threw herself on the ground crying. I know exactly what I would have done before I had kids. I would have gotten angry, raised my voice to whoever was making this scene and if I could, walked away. Instead, I picked her up, shielding myself from kicks that were coming my way, as I quietly spoke to her in her ear, telling her all the wonderful things we’d do when we got home. This didn’t help much, as she cried and kicked the entire way home. This lasted a total of maybe ten minutes (though it felt like a lifetime to me), as once we got home, she immediately calmed down and got distracted with her toys. All was good and I finally had a moment to catch my breath. My daughter didn’t seem faced by what had just happened. Meanwhile, I realized as my heart raced, that a life altering experience had hit me. That day I realized how strong and tolerant we can be when love is the driving force. How understanding and forgiving love is, and how there are no conditions when it comes to the love of your child.
Something very similar hit me last week as I took care of my dad. I found myself caring for him in a way that I’ve only done for my children before. Feeding him, wiping his mouth, helping him walk, letting him hold on to me as he did… I’ve done it all, and yet I’d never done it before. A sense of responsibility and satisfaction overwhelmed me, but it was accompanied by an unexpected sense of sadness. I am nurturer, and not because I’m a mother; it’s just who I am. I have seen myself mothering sisters, friends, my husband.... Playing the role of a mother comes very naturally to me. And yet as I found myself needing to be a mother to both my dad and my mom, things didn’t flow the same way. I can’t really describe exactly why. Perhaps it wasn’t just me who felt in an awkward position being the parent. My parents probably felt the awkwardness too. It’s just not something that you grow up preparing yourself for. There are no books, no instruction manuals, on how to be a mother to your parents. It’s instinctive, yet slightly unnatural. But again, driven by love, which somehow makes it work.
But life has a way of happening exactly the way it should. Each and every experience, emotion felt, moment lived happens seamlessly and without much effort, and all of us end up living exactly what we are destined to live. And if you’re lucky enough, like I am, you find a lesson to be learned and take that lesson with you, for the next time. Playing the role of a mother to my parents was a demonstration of unconditional love, and specifically for me, it came accompanied with a lesson on forgiveness. A lesson that was years in the making…